Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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