oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just gift wrapped bread.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
