saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
