come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
