Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
