There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
