hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
