It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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