We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
