Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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