how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
it's like iHOP with fire
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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