whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
