why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
