i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
