It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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