I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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