I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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