We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
