nut hugger
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
