smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
