Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
