The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
