I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
