I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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