Non-Jews are for practice
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
