I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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