need another drink. this is the easiest way
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
