apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
