This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
