So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
it's great music for shaving your balls
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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