Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
