Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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