i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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