so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
