You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
