Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
