It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
