alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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