I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
