i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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