youre lurking in front of me
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
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