I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
