Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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