I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
