Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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