i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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