Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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