just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
