I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
