Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
