yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
