I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
