idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
