woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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