my room smells like sperm. sweet.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
do herpes really smell.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
